Monday, April 20, 2009

I Denied My Own Membership at the "Gentlemen's Club"

In the United States the term “Gentlemen’s Club” is frequently used as a euphemism for strip clubs. states if you want to become a stripper, you have these four attributes:

1.) Toned Body

2.) An ability to be able to talk and flirt (pretend not to be shy)
3.) Must have thick skin, meaning don’t take anything personally that people might say.

4.) Be a self starter, meaning no one is going to tell you what to do.

In addition to those four attributes, other websites suggested that you have no hair sticking out sides of your G-String, and exercise is a must.

One may ask themselves, “Why is Mr. Bess talking about stripper?” That is a very good question that I am willing to answer. Personally I’m not one who will go to strip clubs often. In my lifetime I have been to a few strip clubs. This one particular day my brother picks me up from work and tells me that we are going somewhere funny. We pull up at the gentlemen’s club in Victorville, Ca. I honestly don’t know what to tell you all right now. It was like I walked into the twilight zone, which featured depressed unattractive strippers, who could not dance. I think a strip club should have decent looking girls that can dance, flirt, entertain, and the club should be appealing at least.

Stripper #1: Was a 40 year mother with three children. She wore a blond wig, and stomach that resembled a beer belly or another child was on the way. She would always mention that she was too old to be dancing, and would smoke after her set. She would always hint about being thirsty as well, but never received a drink.

Stripper #2: So stripper #2 had an ok body. She walked up to me with her head down and touched my leg, and then shook my hand and said her name. When she looked up and smiled, I devoured my gin & tonic in one gulp, and yelled “GOT DAMN,” ridiculously loud in my head. Girl looked like she had been brushing her teeth with Pine Tree bark, and rinsing her mouth out with firecrackers. Girls teeth were F*^$%D Up!

Stripper #3: I don’t have that much to say about stripper #3. She had cottage cheese booty, and needed to step up her dance game. She was doing the Bankhead bounce, and two-stepping her whole set.
I’m going to have to say that was my worst experience ever in a strip club. My brother told me there is a strip club connected to a gas station in Wyoming, which features a one armed stripper. I’m trying to go see that before she gets to old….lol! That was wrong of me! Well that concludes my blog tonight. Be sure to check out the next artist feature interview which will feature upcoming California artists named THA BOOGIE who are currently touring with Raphael Saadiq.

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1 comment:

McAlpine said...

I discovered you on twitter. I enjoyed reading this entry. Funny!